Untitled
by Melinda-Gordon
Summary: What I imagined after one scene in episode nine, it's a little sad, but really from the heart, MerDer.


A/N: This is just a little something I thought up. It is mostly Derek and what he is feeling. I took this from one of the end scenes in episode nine. Enjoy! You all know that these aren't my characters so I don't feel the need to go through them again. I don't have a title yet, if can think of a good one, please tell me!

"Do you love her?" Meredith asked; a hint of desperation and pleading in her voice. Derek looked at her, and then sat on the bench beside her.

They sat in silence for a moment or two.

"I don't know" Derek finally admitted. Meredith knew that this was true. She could feel it in his voice. His tone said it all. He felt that he should love her, but, he didn't. That fire just wasn't there. He looked at her and felt nothing, the spark that was there in the beginning, had long since died out.

"I…" Derek began, he was choking on his words, and he knew they were there, but he couldn't find them, couldn't bring himself to say what he truly felt.

"I know" Meredith interrupted, placing a hand on his arm. She knew that he had to choose. He had been married to Addison for a long time, but there was nothing between them anymore. He had a choice to make. Either path he chose, someone he cared for would get hurt, there was no way to avoid it, it was like driving down the highway at night, an animal runs out in front of your car, you could either swerve and crash into the on coming traffic, or keep driving, either way, someone would get hurt. He was trapped; it was like being stuck between a rock and a hard place, with no way to get out.

His choice was hard; he had to break someone's heart. Who did he choose? Addison, who was his wife, or Meredith, who he felt was the love of his life. No matter whom he chose, he would still rip out someone's heart, stomp on it, then feed it through a paper shredder, then leave them to pick up the pieces, and try and move on with their life. To mend their heart, and then give what was left of it to someone else, only to have the same thing happen again and again, until they had no heart left to give. They would have no life, they wouldn't care about anything, would have a loveless, emotionless life. There would be no point in continuing the everlasting battle of life. The sun would never shine in their world, they would be I constant darkness, except for the small spot of light far off in the distance, always out of reach; like a lolly jar that was just too high up on the shelf, a temptation, a desire, something that you want, but can never have.

He didn't want to do that to either Addison or Meredith. He cared about them both too much; it would destroy him inside to hurt either one of them. Addison may have hurt him in the past, but she wanted to try and save what was left of their relationship they dared to call a marriage, which, was like a ship heading out to sea with no lifeboats, and a hole in its hull. Doomed. Their marriage was nothing more than a friendship that was falling apart; the people in it were drifting apart, slowly, but still apart. He knew it was cruel to lead Addison to believe they had a chance, when he still carried a torch for Meredith.

"Come on" Meredith said, breaking the silence that had developed. She stood up, taking Derek's hand. Derek stood up, and followed Meredith to her car. He asked no questions, and she gave no answers. He trusted her to not kick him when he was down, he trusted her to help him to pick up the pieces, to do what was truly right. She wouldn't be biased and twist his arm so that he would choose her, she would make him do what his heart felt, but he was afraid to say.

They drove in silence until Meredith turned the car into the car park of Joe's bar. She climbed out and lead Derek into a booth at the back of the bar, away from the smokers, where they could talk in peace, free of the disturbances they would receive sitting at the bar.

They sat down and looked at each other. Joe, the barman, came over to them.

"What can I get you?" He asked.

"A bottle of tequila and two glasses, please" Meredith said.

"Just tequila?" Joe asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Just straight tequila, no lemons" Meredith added. Joe walked away to get their drinks.

"It's not fair" Derek sighed. He twisted his hands on the table. He looked everywhere but at Meredith, afraid that if he did, he would never look away. Meredith placed one of her hands over his. His first thought was to pull his hand away, but something in her touch made him hold her hand between his.

"I know, life never is" Meredith replied. She knew what he was feeling. He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles.

"It shouldn't be this hard" Derek whispered. He felt stupid. Here he was, a fully grown man, crying because he couldn't choose between two desirable women.

"I know" Meredith said, her tone soothing. Somehow, even though she repeated the same words over again, she was helping him. The way she was so calm amazed him, it gave him strength, gradually, his feelings became clearer.

"Here's your tequila" Joe said as he walked over. He placed the tequila on the table and walked away. Meredith poured two glasses and sat one in front of Derek. He looked at the glass, then at Meredith. When she gave him a reassuring nod, he gulped down the glass, cringing as the hot liquid burned the back of his throat as it slid down and settled down in his stomach.

The hours slowly passed as Derek spilled what was in his heart out to Meredith. The liquid in the tequila bottle slowly disappeared. Derek had completely forgotten about his meeting with Addison, and, when he eventually remembered, it was too late, so he pushed it to the back of his mind.

"Help me Meredith" Derek pleaded. The tequila had made him a little drunk. "Help me take away this pain"

"I will" Meredith vowed. She slid along the seat of their booth until she was sitting so close to him she could hear him breathe. She put her hand on his thigh, then leaned in and whispered in his ear:

"I know just how to ease that pain" Derek stood up and Meredith followed. They walked over to the bar and paid for the tequila. They walked out the back door which led to the car park. They walked quickly over to Meredith's car. Derek knew exactly what Meredith had in mind. He pinned her against the car before she had a chance to unlock the door. His lips plunged down to hers, crushing against them with a force that scared her. His hands roamed impatiently over her body, feeling every curve of her body. A group of passing teenagers called out to them.

"Get a room!" Derek pulled away from Meredith. Meredith unlocked the car doors and they both climbed in and headed for her place. She had had a bit to drink, but was still under the limit.

As soon as Meredith had parked the car in her driveway and climbed out, Derek was beside her. His hands impatiently pushing her towards the door. Before her key was in the lock, Derek was kissing her again, this time with more passion.

The door opened and they stumbled in. As they stumbled up the stairs, clothing was disposed. They both knew what would happen, they both knew it would be awkward in the morning, but, they were living the moment, they would face the consequences later.

Derek led Meredith into her bedroom, his hands peeling away the remainder of her clothing. He laid her on the bed. He placed his body over hers. There was no clothing separating them now. They knew there were lines, but, they were always meant to be crossed. He caressed her skin, and his lips followed the path his fingers made.

"Yes" Meredith cried as Derek plunged into her warm depths.

By the next day, Derek had made his decision, it had taken a lot of thought, but he had finally chosen. At 5.30pm on Friday he would propose an idea to this chosen one, whether they would give him the answer he desired, he would not know. All he hoped was that the decision he made was the right one, and that in the long run, things would turn out the way everyone always wanted their lives to turn out; like a fairytale.

THE END

A/N: I know that I have left it up in the air, but, it leaves room for me to continue.

Please read and review!


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